Badlands Rumble
by GentlemanBones
Summary: Fed up with failure, Cipher decides to outsource, contracting prolific criminals from other regions. There are a good number of reasons this is bad news for Wes; the top of the list is a reunion he'd like to avoid and coworkers he'd rather not be around.
1. Chapter 1  Orre in the Family

For as far back as anyone's memories could reach, Orre had never exactly been a civil land. Its inhabitants tried their best to get along with each other, but the law's grip was weak and the struggle for resources - including wild Pokemon - drove those that might not have otherwise considered it into a life of crime. Due to this, criminal organizations were easy to form and maintain. Anyone promising easy money for easier work had no shortage of employees.

And when you push a company to its limits, they start taking on contractors.

No one in Agate Village had ever seen an air ship the size of the one that had invaded their small retirement community. A small team of people had kept any capable veteran trainers busy while a single woman slipped into Relic Forest and did the unthinkable; she had captured the guardian Celebi and taken it back to her ship. Fortunately, one of the residents of the village had powerful friends, and promptly made an important call.

Now Snagger Leo chases Hunter J through the Orre badlands, his beat up hover bike keeping remarkable pace with J's ship.

She watched the movements of her pursuer carefully through a monitor before her chair on the observation deck. Her palms pushed firmly against the console, venting frustrations. "Fire the adhesive cannon! We can't let him reach the rendezvous point!" The on-board weapons engineer mumbled something about stating the obvious under his breath before beginning the calculations for the heavy gun under the ship. There was a muffled explosion; the monitors watched a pink glob fire from the ship and careen towards Leo's bike and ultimately miss with a simple swerve to the side.

"Keep firing!" J tapped a part of her screen, changing the camera she was focusing on. She looked ahead of the ship; they were approaching a narrow canyon. "There! Take us as close to the top of the canyon as possible. He can't dodge us there."

The adhesive cannon kept firing, and Leo managed to deftly dodge each shot. He was an expert at handling his bike, and much more experience at navigating the desert; all he had to do was close the gap. With the next blast, he gave a short command, attracting the attention of the two Pokemon riding in his sidecar.

"Espeon!"

The small pink Psychic hopped up from his seat to crawl onto Leo's shoulders and focus his attention on the blob of glue flying towards the bike. Its momentum began to slow in midair, coming only a few feet from hitting them before reversing direction and flying towards the airship. The blob splat against the bottom of the ship's rear left engine, gumming up the insides and causing the ship to list. A bad time to it as it approached the canyon, the aft grinding into sandstone.

Leo found his way to a ramp leading up the canyon wall and was soon running alongside the ship...before making a bold leap and landing on the connection between the gummed-up engine and the rest of the ship.

J slammed her fists on her console and leapt to her feet, marching intently to the elevator leading to the ship's surface. "Maintenance team, I want that engine cleared out ASAP." She spoke into her earpiece while in the elevator. "Pilot crew, we're forced to move slowly until then. Keep close to the ground in case we need to make an emergency landing."

Leo watched his bike slow to a halt farther behind him, then turned his attention to the opening hatch on the top of the ship. His Espeon and Umbreon stood with him, hissing and going into ready stances for whatever decided to come up.

The metal iris opened, and J stepped onto the airship's roof. Neither trainer spoke, only glared, all eyes obscured by their respective headwear. J was the first to break the silence, forced to yell thanks to the wind. "I honestly hope you're feeling as surprised as I am by all this! Here I thought you had been left-"

Leo snapped his fingers and threw his arm out to his left side. His Umbreon reared back and fired a Shadow Ball to the right of J's head. "...Not in a talkative mood, I see. I have no choice but to toss you overboard, then!" J produced two Pokeballs and released the Pokemon inside; her Salamence bursting into the air and flying a short distance above, her Drapion preferring to huddle close to what was the rough equivalent of ground. It didn't do too well with heights, but her Ariados didn't stand a chance here.

Salamence opened the game up, circling around behind J and landing on the ship, leveling its neck before firing a Hyper Beam directly at Leo. It had been scolded time and again about accidentally hitting the ship, and in its current state it couldn't afford much more abuse. Espeon moved quickly, standing in front of its trainer to defend, setting up a defensive Light Screen to block the attack. After the shield faded, Umbreon launched forward to unleash its own beam, rays of peculiar light circling around Salamence's face, confusing it. Drapion scrambled up and slapped the Umbreon aside with one of its claws, glowing a deep purple with inherent poison.

Leo sneered and crouched, taking an Ultra Ball from his coat and holding it within the Snag Machine on his arm, charging it. Salamence was trying to fire again, but found itself wobbling uncontrollably, especially when it tried to lift back up into the air. Drapion closed in on Espeon, preparing to strike, until a blast of fire hit it from behind...pushing the monstrous insect to the edge of the ship, threatening to knock it overboard. Leo panicked, hoping to keep the Pokemon from injury, and threw his new Snag Ball; J responded quickly and fired her own weapon, freezing the ball in place, the small orb dropping harmlessly as impenetrable stone.

"I can admire your poacher spirit, but you'll have to do better than that!" J trained her gun on him next, and was prepared to fire...but hesitated, gritting her teeth with her finger on the trigger. Before her drive for success could outweigh any regrets she might feel, a piercing scream blasted into her sensitive headset, scrambling her visor's HUD and make the ship shake as Umbreon's Screech relayed through the cockpit, torturing the pilots. It was followed by a vicious Bite to J's weapon, Umbreon throwing its whole weight into the attack and pulling her body down to the ship's surface.

Drapion had managed to pull itself back up, and skittered over to Espeon. The Psychic turned around and its eyes flashed harmlessly before the Drapion struck him with poisoned claws, sending the small Pokemon skipping across the metal unconscious. Leo recalled it reluctantly, realizing it couldn't battle after that, with Umbreon next. He decided it was better to escape and regroup for now than risk serious injury to his Pokemon. He wasn't too worried about losing J's ship; there were only so many places she could be going with cargo like that.

The next time the ship ground against the rock below, he grit his teeth and jumped...falling and rolling onto the top of the canyon. He watched J's ship leave...and lurch again, Espeon's Future Sight slamming Salamence into the hull, hopefully on top of the Drapion. The engine's began to pour heavy black smoke into the sky; the best tracking device he could ask for as they flew into the horizon.

Leo flipped open his PDA, starting a call while walking back to his bike. "...J was tougher than I expected."

"So are you asking for...help?"

"Not in so many words, Nett."

"Heh. I think I might know some people. It will take time for them to arrive though."

"We don't really have the luxury of waiting around."

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"They turn Celebi into a Shadow Pokemon."

"...Right. That put a fire under me. Hang tight, things will start happening soon."

Leo closed his phone and tucked away, still trying to locate his discarded bike. Orre wasn't a civil region. It was full of bandits and con men, but smart people got by. Cipher took advantage of the desert's opportunist inhabitants, and were looking to use them to set the world on fire.

And now it looked like they had his mother's help. This wasn't going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2  Ride, Poringer!

Leo hated waiting. He wasn't used to it. There was never much in the way of red tape when it came to straightening out crime and villainy, or _causing_ crime and villainy. Generally one was either the initiator of an event, or was forcefully swept up in it. He was long tired of being swept along. But here he sat in Gateon Port, staring daggers into his drink while he sat inside the town's single, modest restaurant, while Nett's reinforcements arrived.

It was excruciating knowing that J was out there, handing over the time traveler to whoever was running Cipher now. And he couldn't do a thing about it. It was a far cry from the way things used to be, when he was a young recruit in Team Snagem. His eyes softened as he got lost in the memories; he'd been handed over to Gonzap as a child, with the earliest memories of his mother all prominently featuring her back.

Not a strong base for a mother figure. Leo acknowleged it had probably left him with a few issues.

Gonzap was the closest he had to a father, though. The man was gruff and abrasive, but genuinely caring for his men. He was harsh because he expected the best, and he always got it out of Leo. He was a lieutenant before he was legal, and then he'd defected before he could celebrate that last birthday.

You either initiated events, or got swept up in them. Leo's resignation notice was a shot heard 'round the world.

"...Excuse me." His thoughts were interrupted by a voice. Leo looked up to quietly watch a young girl stare right back, neither of them saying anything for a moment. Short black hair and a delicate, frilled dress of somber color...not the kind of style you saw a lot of in Orre. She finally moved, turning her head and pointing towards the club's stage. The curtain was drawn; everyone had assumed it was merely vacant. "...Watch close."

With that, the girl walked off, disappearing behind the curtain. Leo raised his eyebrow and sipped his drink, wordessly curious. The lights dimmed and stage lights hit the curtain in a variety of colors, with a drum roll coming in from somewhere off stage.

**"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! RESIDENTS OF GATEON PORT! DO NOT BE ALARMED! THE GREATEST SUPERHERO TEAM TO EVER LIVE HAVE SAFELY ARRIVED ON YOUR SHORES!"** A gentle smirk had formed on Leo's lips as the lights had dimmed. Then gone away after what seemed to be a boisterous young man started shouting over the cafe's speaker system. **"PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR...POOOORINGER!"**

The curtain pulled back to reveal five costumed individuals...each very different sizes and ages, even through the masking helmets and uniforms. And a different color...blue, green, red, pink, and black, according to how they stood on the stage. Red, and Pink were unabashedly striking a ridiculous pose together. Green and Blue were a bit more subdued in their movements, clearly a little embarrassed to be there. Black had wandered off to the side, trying to put distance between herself and her supposed allies.

All Leo could do was pray they hadn't been the people Nett had sent for. Even Cipher agents would've been preferable; Cipher was no stranger to..._those_ types of outfits.

"Hey, is there a Leo in the crowd?" Red announced more quietly, putting his hand to the visor of his helmet and looking about. "Our secret agent friend Nett asked us to help him take down this criminal organization." Black slapped him in the back of the head rather promptly.

Blue was tapping a finger to his chin. "Maybe we should've figured out where he was before announcing ourselves like this."

It was a few moments before Red was dragged off the stage by Leo, who had managed to sneak his way behind the curtain and grab the smaller boy by the collar of his uniform. "Hey hey hey hey HEY! Watch the duds, mac! We got official business, we're looking for somebody!" Red detested, kicking his feet as he was dragged.

Leo tapped his fingers against Red's motorcycle helmet firmly, rocking his head back. "I _am_ that somebody. Snagger Leo. Nett told me he was bringing in backup. He didn't say anything about flashy idiots. Get out of those costumes immediately, you're doing nothing but attracting unwanted attention."

Red unclasped his helmet and took it off, holding it as his side. The others followed suit, most embarrassed for their own sakes. "Right! Leo! My name's Buck. Team Leader of Poringer! We're a special unit of trainers from Sinnoh. Affiliated with the former Kids Grid."

Pink had spoken next, excitedly thrusting her fist into the air. "Poringer Pink! Long range tactics specialist! Cutest and smartest member of Poringer! Mira's name is Mira, of course!"

"Poringer Blue. I'm Riley. Geologist and close combat expert. It's a pleasure to meet you, we've heard much from Nett." Riley and Leo shook hands, Leo promptly deciding this one was at least respectable.

"My name is Cheryl, Poringer Green~ I am the team doctor. It's really great to be here in Orre, even if your region isn't very green~" She curtside politely, despite her lack of a skirt. It was amazing how she managed to cram all that hair inside her helmet.

"...My name is Marley." The girl he'd spoken to before. Buck took offense to her simple introduction, stomping up and pointing at her nose.

"YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT! You have to announce your team designations! Are you a Poringer or not?" She glared at him and he backed away.

"Poringer Black. Team leader." She announced low and stern, arms crossed over her stomach.

"_I'M_ the Team Leader! You're Special Operations! Get it right!" Both Leo and Marley glared at him this time, and he shrunk back behind Cheryl, who put on an innocent and amused smile at the antics.

"...We know about Hunter J." Marley spoke for them, taking a communique from her pocket. "She's been harassing the Sinnoh region for awhile...what she does is...unforgivable..." Her voice trailed off as she spoke, deciding instead to just give the notice they'd received to Leo. It was from Nett.

Nett had described the situation well enough, and did a good job of keeping the relationship between Leo and J on a need-to-know-basis. Pictures had been acquired of J's other known operations...it didn't seem like she was too picky over her targets, and had no qualms attacking legendary Pokemon. "Right...we need to proceed immediately. Citadark Isle is a boat ride away, and the best thing we have to a lead."

"BEFORE WE GO..." Buck interjected, shouting in Leo's ear. Both he and Marley smacked him again. He didn't seem more phased by the hit than to simply take a step back. "Nett wanted us to give you this! Here." It seemed like a belt buckle. A bulky one, with a number of buttons.

Leo trusted Nett, and was thankful for any new euipment when it came to enforcing what little law there was in Orre. He affixed it to his own belt and tested one of the buttons out. There was a flash and a few holograms popped up from it, similar to the style of his Snag Machine...purple arrows looping around his body and locking in place. And a voice.

_HENSHIN! Kamen Ride...SNAGGAH!_ An outlandish costume, similar to those surrounding them though more ornate and elaborate, had covered his coat. A new helmet mounted his head, rather resembling some manner of mechanical lion's head. Leo couldn't stop inwardly swearing; he just _knew_ that Nett was laughing to himself over this.

Before he could object, the Poringers had replaced their helmet and were staring towards the sea, which was odd considering it wasn't even visible from inside the cafe. "LET'S RIDE! ONWARD TO CITADARK ISLE! They won't know what hit 'em!"

Mira delivered a short kick to Buck's backside, sending him forward in shock. "Hee! Mira wanted to do it, too."

"Maybe you should learn to be quieter, Buck~" Green commented, the five walking on without him as he rubbed his butt.

"Yeah, yeah..."


	3. Chapter 3 Lab Brats

The canister slid into place with ease, interlocking with a much larger machine with a loud hiss as the conjoined tubes pressurized themselves. Celebi would be next to impossible to remove from the machine without simply destroying it now, which risked the Pokemon's good health. The Time Traveler offered little resistance. It couldn't in its bronze shell.

J smiled as she watched its vital signs appear on a monitor. She could practically taste the new size of her bank account. "Like, _oh my gosh!_" The sound of that girl was leaving a serious bad taste in her mouth, though. She watched the pink-haired thing stare with interest at the life sign monitor, one gloved finger pressed to her lips while the other switched between windows on the screen. "Celebi is putting out just _so_ much energy! It's so unbelievable!" She managed to chirp like nails on a blackboard in the most irritatingly chipper voice J had ever heard, even while distressed. It was all coupled with the impatient swaying of her body, hips moving back and forth in a tight dress.

"That poses a daunting problem." J thought much better of the man in the room. He seemed professional, or at least, didn't behave like a teenager at the department store. "We've never tried to convert a mythical Pokemon before. It could take a considerable amount of time. Almost ironic, considering Celebi's nature." His fingers impatiently clicked a pen on top of his deck while his eyes went over the data coming in. With a few simple keystrokes, the large machine in the room began to whir. Cables appeared inside the holding cell and anchored themselves to Cleebi's prone body. New data poured in; the man lifted his impressively long hair out of the way of his face.

J peered at him from the corners of her eyes. "I do know about XD001. The Shadow Lugia you created. Did you disavow that?"

"You are _so_ wrong! It was Lovrina that made XD001! He was _so_ my precious baby~" The girl chirped and cooed, and J scowled. She seriously contemplated, if only for a moment, turning her petrification arm against her. Ein stood up in time to distract her.

"We didn't capture a Lugia. We had to create one, with the help of research notes we retrieved from a destroyed Team Rocket facility." Ein adjusted his glasses while smirking with pride. "It was a work of art. The corruption was so thorough, the Lugia's very physical appearance changed drastically from recorded sightings. And it was immune to all...known...forms of purification, at the time."

"Hmph! Listen to you, taking all the credit! _Lovrina_ did all the work." Lovrina was quick to point out, sticking her tongue out at her senior scientist. "While you were in _jail_, I'll remind you!"

Ein glared at her, hair fidgeting angrily. "Yes, and where is it _now_, Lovrina? Oh, yes. Your untouchable process was completely and flawlessly counteracted, wasn't it? And now XD001 is being held at Professor Krane's laboratory, where they are free to study our techniques _at length_."

"Don't blame it on me!" The girl spun on her heel, stomping on the floor once with her heeled boot, arms shot down to her sides in a show of aggravation. "It was _so_ not my fault! My designs were perfect! Security isn't Lovrina's job!"

"Honestly. Letting a child run rampant through our facilities. What kind of criminal syndicate do you think we are?" J rolled her eyes and left the two to quarrel. Her job was done; she had to go speak with their boss about payment. She might ask for a bonus just for having to deal with those two.

As she neared the automated door, the lights in the room flashed red and an alarm blared. Ein answered her question before she could ask it. "The intruder alarm. Somebody knows we're here. You were followed." J did not care for the venom in his voice.

"...I'll handle it." She said simply, leaving the room to head back towards the largely destroyed building's entrance hall. She wouldn't allow her reputation to be marred by this. If she couldn't operate stealthily, she couldn't operate at all; it would seriously hurt her business.

And she knew all too well who was waiting outside.

================

The boat ride had been anything but pleasant. Even on the surprisingly well-designed Mecha Kyogre, Buck had absolutely no tolerance for seafaring. The bottom of everyone's shoes smelled less than spring daisies, and as a direct result, so did a particular section of Buck's backside thanks to Marley.

The smell faded as they stepped onto the shores of Citadark Isle, the smell of vomit and contempt washed away by sea air and even more contempt. "Alright. We need to stay close. Cipher isn't opposed to cheating, but as long as we travel in a group, they can't hope to-"

**"UHOOOOOOO!"** Leo cringed and slowly turned his head back towards the source of the sound. Any thoughts of strategizing were pushed aside by the word _Really?_ playing in an infinite loop in his head. "I see! We've got some scallywags scamperin' about, tryin' to bust up our scam! I'll just have to put a hard stop to your man train!"

"There are just as many girls as boys..." Marley pointed out flatly, trying her best not to look at the weirdo towering over them on a rock face above.

"B., what in the name of the Creator are you _doing._" Leo was shielding his forehead with his hand, more out of disbelief than disgust.

"FUO! I was invited back into the ranks of Cipher, provided I helped keep our new operations safe! We've got big, strong plans here on this island! We can't have you or anyone messing with us again!"

"No, I _mean_...forget it." He shook his head and stepped forward, taking a Pokeball from his belt and prepping it for battle. Cheryl had been giggling innocently at the energetic and interesting man. Riley tried to not look too concerned as Mira experimentally mimicked his movements.

Miror B. strode toward them confidently, hands above his head, arms bent...frantically pounding his hips at the air with each step. He wore little better than a leather one-piece that covered his torso and waist, leaving his carefully shaved thighs and legs open for everyone to inspect. Pitch black sunglasses covered his eyes, with a black leather visor framing the bottom of his absurd, trademark afro. "It looks like you've brought a lot of friends to play, darling! Well, I've got friends of my own you know! HARDENED TROOPS, FALL IN!"

A multitude of multicolored Cipher Peons poured in from behind the rock faces, some leaping from the cliff, others simply walking down the natural ramp connecting the cliff to the ground. They assembled themselves in front of the six decidedly heroic trainers, the five Poringer units reattaching their helmets in preparation for a fight.

"Let's go at it, little boy!" Miror B. called from the cliff, leaping and staring down Leo. He did his best to ignore the pain in his shins.

"I am going to need _serious_ therapy after this..."


End file.
